Phil of The Future: Crossover
by Thor2000
Summary: This is a sequel to my previous two Phil stories so be sure you've read them before this one or else it won't make sense. In this story, Phil and Keely win a trip to the Tipton in a massive Disney crossover.
1. Chapter 1

Keely Teslow was coming into the Diffy house more and more now that she and Phil were serious in their relationship. His father was no where nearly as paranoid of being the time-misplaced traveler in a time period that was not his own and his mother was slowly getting adept to doing things the Late Twentieth Century way without robots and holograms doing things for her. Pim was still trying to get things in this century to work for her in order to get all that she wanted from what she referred to as "these backwoods semi-intellectual throwbacks." Phil was enjoying his Late Twentieth Century lifestyle in old-fashioned school, but unlike his peers in this time period, he was a bit more distressed by what passed as Twentieth Century entertainment. When Keely entered the Diffy household through the back door, Pim uncharacteristically came running excited to see her.

"It's here! It's here!! It's…" She screeched to a stop. "Oh, it's just Blondie." Her voice dropped to less than excited levels.

"Yeah, it's me…" Keely looked up with her big blue eyes to Pim then over to Barbara Diffy. "What's going on?"

"Oh," Barbara had been getting quite adept to washing dishes. "She's waiting for a package from the postman, honey." She was already seeing Keely has her future daughter-in-law. "Phil's watching TV in the living room."

"Thanks, Mrs. Diffy."

"What was that?"

"Oh…" Ever since they learned from another time-traveler that Phil and Keely were going to be married with children, Keely was expected to treat Phil's mother as her mother. "I mean, mom…"

"That's better…."

Keely just mused on the moment with her future in-law beaming over her then turned into the living room toward the front of the house. Before her, Phil was sitting up straight on the sofa while he watched TV, a bottle of soda in one hand and a sandwich in the other. Keely came up behind him, ran her hands down over his shoulders and kissed his cheek before nuzzling up close to him. Phil shined back to her and set aside his drink and lunch watching her climb over the sofa to sit by him. Finding her favorite spot by his side, she looked at him with a loving smile and felt his arm reaching over and around her shoulders.

"What are you watching?"

"This show…" Phil answered scowling confusingly. "I don't know why, but there's something about it that disturbs me."

"What show?"

Phil lifted the remote to turn up the volume on the sound.

"…And his family on vacation from the Twenty-Second Century." The show's quirky opening ditty repeated its premise in a hyper speeded up cartoon voice. "They got a rented time machine and they're on their way… to a time way, way, way back in the days… because he's…."

"Phil…." Keely took the remote and hit the mute button. "It's just a stupid show. I mean, Alyson Michalka's doing much better without it."

"But it wouldn't have been cancelled if she hadn't walked away."

"It had nothing to do with her." Keely groaned lightly and rolled her eyes. "Alyson wanted a singing career and they put her in the show. Yes, it helped her career a lot, but believe me, she would have stayed on it if the powers that be had decided to keep it around for a sixth season or maybe even a seventh. Phil, it's gone. Stop grieving for it."

"I really liked the little sister." Pim walked behind them.

"Pim, no one liked the sister…" Phil interrupted.

"She was the real star!!!" Pim shrieked and stamped her foot. "Now, look where she is. Trapped on a god-awful cartoon doing voices where no one can even see her true genius, or even her true beauty! She was…." Pim heard someone knocking at the front door. Turning to her left, she hastened for the door and looked up to Mr. Morley, their postman. She became even ore excited to realize he had a large and heavy package.

"Hi," He spoke up with his usual friendly demeanor. "I've got a package for Mrs. Pim D-"

"It's here!!!" Pim screamed excitedly, grabbed the thirty-pound package from him and jerked it away, knocking Morley off the front porch with a flurry of letters and slamming the front door on him. "It's here! It's here! It's here!!!!" She began laughing her evil voice as if it was already too late for anyone to do anything.

"Oh no, young lady…." Her mother came after her trying once more to instill compassion and humility in her. "That had better not be that surface-to-air missile you wanted for Christmas. Just wait till your father gets home!"

"This is like so better than that, mother." Pim glared a look of derision to her parent. "It's a phone board… the same those god awful telemarketers use to harass people at home for money. With it, I'll never have to ask for money again…"

"Oh…" Barbara thought it over from a financial point of view. "Well, I guess that's okay…"

"You know, Pim…" Her brother looked over to him. "There is a reason that telemarketers and spammers were outlawed in 2008."

"Details, details…." Pim rolled her eyes at his preaching and then looked round to see if her mother was listening. "With this device, I can make back all the money Blondie's clone stole from me and more. People will soon be mailing me the money that will lead to their own destruction." She began laughing her evil laugh.

"Pim…" Barb leaned her head in from the kitchen. "Were you doing your evil laugh?"

"No, mother…" Pim sounded sweet and innocent as she ripped open her package and pulled out the laptop-sized object amidst a mess of wires, paper and packing peanuts. Keely waved the Styrofoam packing material away from her face and Phil watched with his disapproving look, realizing that his sister was her own worst enemy. On the table next to the telephone, Pim was hurrying to start having money mailed to her phony charity, but first she had to hook up the device. She grabbed the instructions.

"Oh no… they're in Korean!!!!" She whined out loud. Her brother and his blonde girlfriend started giggling in secret at her.

"Phil…" Keely looked to the TV and started shaking Phil. "Turn the sound up! Turn the sound up! They're announcing the winners to the Hannah Montana Boston Concert Giveaway."

"I think we're going to win." Phil was quite confident in their luck. "I used the Wizard to compute our chances, we bought enough tickets, we mailed them all on time and we monitored the postal routes…"

"Plus you knew in advance when they started selling tickets despite the secret date." Keely loved having a boyfriend from the future.

"Hey, Hannah's still big in my time too." Phil revealed. "Her great-great-granddaughter is just as big as her even while re-releasing all her old songs."

"Wow!"

"Yeah," Phil once again told secrets from the future. "You ought to see their video. Young Hannah singing to a hologram of Old Hannah; it's like she was right there!"

"That is like so cool!" Keely was shaking her head trying to believe it. In between commercials during a break from the Ricky Ullman and Alyson Michalka Disney TV series, Hannah Montana had popped up on the screen against a light blue background with her likeness on it. Petite, cute and endowed with golden blonde hair, she was garbed in her usual denim country-pop look, she waved to her fans through the television.

"Hi! I'm Hannah Montana…" She spoke with her Nashville accent. "I'm here to finally announce the winner of my Boston Concert ticket giveaway, "Backstage with Hannah Montana," and the winners are…" She paused to read from cue cards. "Phil Diffy and Keely Teslow from Pickford, Illinois! Way to go, Phil and Keely, I'll be seeing you in Boston!!!" She began waving to her others fans.

In Pickford, Phil and Keely jumped up from the sofa cheering and dancing loud enough they did not hear the names of honorary winners who had won first-row tickets to the concert. Pim rolled her eyes at their merriment, still trying to hook her device up to the phone. Barb had come to congratulate them.

"This is so cool!" Keely was dancing up and down with her hair bobbing around her head. "This is almost as good as missing out to see Aly and AJ! Well, almost as good…"

"I told you." Phil was quite smug. "Science, probability and mathematics, they were all working toward us. I'll get to ask Hannah where she got her name from."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't know…" Phil stopped to realize what she had asked. "You don't know Hannah's real name? Keely, she's a girl in high school just like us. Her real name is…"

"Whoa!!" Barb had stopped the name-dropper. "Phil, I'm pretty sure there's a reason her real identity was kept a secret in this century."

"What?" Keely wanted to know. "I gotta know. What is it?"

Phil looked at his mother wanting to obey, to Keely wanting to be loyal to her then to Pim hooking her phone board up to the family phone line. His conscience was bothering him. Like his mother said, there had to be a reason it had been a secret in this time. Keely looked to him with undying respect.

"I'll tell you after we meet her." Phil was able to make both his mother and girlfriend happy. "That way… you won't be liable to accidentally blab it to her."

Barb was happy with that decision.

"Just a hint?" Keely tried pouting and using her feminine wiles on Phil.

"After we meet her."

"Who cares about some teen pop diva currently in her fifteen minutes of fame?" Pim was setting up her command station around the family phone fully equipped with a plant, a picture of herself and a hands-free phone set ready to pollute the communications freeway with her money harassment scheme. Sitting down before the phone content, happy and already counting her money, she braced herself at her seat and leaned forward as she pushed a button to mathematically ring up phone calls at random. It started working. She had a sucker!

"Hello," She started with her sugary sweet and innocent voice. "Let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to helping people in adversity. For a first donation of $50, you can help the unfortunate get health benefits, homes, Internet access, surface-to-air missiles, their own island country…."

Sitting in his favorite chair in his Chicago suburb home, Derek Venturi stared at the television listening to Pim drone on about helping the unfortunate. He wasn't really paying attention to her as much as he was watching Ricky Ullman on TV and lusting after Alyson Michalka in a Disney TV series he himself agreed had been cancelled way too soon. He yawned, rolled his eyes and heard his stepsister coming down the stairs near him.

"Casey…" He held the phone up. "It's for you." He could care less for charity.

"Thanks, Derek!" She took the phone.

"Oh, yeah…" He mumbled under breath. "And you also just won front seat tickets to Hannah Montana in Boston…." He miffed annoyingly his loss to not having won tickets… unless he could finagle a scheme to get Casey to take him with her.


	2. Chapter 2

In Bayside High School in San Francisco, Raven Baxter ran into the school excitedly with news for her best friend. Her mother had told her the night before that the young African-American beauty had been called by Disney Channel to confirm her winning front seat tickets to Hannah Montana in Boston, Massachusetts. Winning the tickets was not much of a miracle for Raven given her psychic gifts to read the future, but her big problem was choosing which of her best friends to take cross-country to attend the concert.

"Chels, girl…" Raven caught up with cute and red-haired Chelsea Daniels at her school locker. "We are both going to see Hannah Montana in Boston! Both of us! Together!"

"That is so cool!" Chelsea screeched excitedly and hugged Raven as they jumped and celebrated together then separated from the afterglow. "I was hoping you'd ask me. I mean - I heard Hannah mention your name when I watched the contest results. Do you think she remembers you?" She referred to a previous Boston trip Raven had made previously for her boss, Donna Cabonna.

"Girl," Raven was scoffing at the notion. "Hannah and I are just like that!" She crossed her fingers to Chelsea to represent their friendship.

"Yeah, but Ray…" Chelsea used her nickname for Raven. "What about our friendship with Eddie? He's your best friend too. What are you going to do when he learns you're taking me and not him?"

"Yeah…" Raven now worried about hurting Eddie's feelings. "I'm wondering how to handle that too." She felt a familiar tingling to the back of her head and her vision becoming cloudy, it was the same feeling she had when she had her premonitions, although she really called them visions. They were short and brief glimpses from anywhere into ten minutes or two hours into her future and usually occurred when her personal aura interacted with another person's aura, especially around incidents directly connected to her immediate dilemmas. In this vision, she saw Eddie rushing to meet up with herself and Chelsea with news of his own.

"Hey guys," Eddie was grinning as his voice echoed from the future. "Guess what? My cousin in Phoenix is in the hospital and can't use the Hannah Montana tickets he won. He's letting me have them!" The vision ended.

"You know, girl…" Raven grinned to Chelsea. "I no longer have a problem with Eddie." She beamed ecstatically excited to Chelsea trying to compose her enthusiasm. Chelsea's cell phone rang in her locker as she turned over her math book to get it. She flipped it open and pressed it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello," Pim Diffy was calling her. "Let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to helping people in adversity. For a first donation of $100, you can help the unfortunate get health benefits, homes, Internet access, surface-to-air missiles, their own island country…."

"Is this a telemarketer?!"

"No."

"All I've got is a twenty."

"I'll take it!!!" Pim chirped up. "Stay on the line for a recording to where you can send your tax-exempt donation…"

Chelsea looked to Raven waiting for her. There was more thrilled screaming from the hall as Eddie was rushing to live through the prediction. A teacher stepped aside from Eddie's path, and student William Samms jumped from Eddie's path and bounced off lockers before Michelle Teslow, a cute red-haired cheerleader. He had an obvious crush on her, but he was too nervous to tell her about it. They shared eye contact for a second then parted. Michelle had a secret for herself. She missed her mother back in Pickford. She may have been exposed as a clone of Keely Teslow, but she could not deny she still had all her memories and could not avoid the memories associated them. She still loved Phil and to keep from revealing his secret, she had opted to live far away from him and the real Keely Teslow, using Pim's stolen Wizard to make a fortune enough for a teenage girl to live by herself in a San Francisco apartment. However, every so often, she caught herself using her cell phone to call her mother to just hear her mother's voice.

"Hello." Mandy Teslow received the voiceless call again. Michelle froze up again. How could she tell this woman that she was a clone of her daughter and still loved her? How do you explain having her daughter's memories? How do you explain to a woman she has an extra twin daughter that shouldn't exist?

"Hello?" Mandy repeated. Michelle fretted trying to think of something. What should she say?

"Is someone there?" Mandy asked. She heard someone breathing, but whoever it was would not talk. Her caller ID just simply read San Francisco, California. Her finger switched off the phone.

"I miss you, mom!!!" Michelle broke down upon the broken phone signal and started crying into her locker as William came to the need of her emotions. Back in Pickford, Mandy placed her cell phone aside into her purse by her side. She was in her car driving over to the Diffy's house as she slowed and applied her brake. Parking at the curb, she turned her engine off and grabbed her key to check with the Diffy's over her daughter's status. Last night had been very busy for Phil and Keely. Their friends from school had been calling to congratulate them for winning the contest and to ask for objects. Owen Washmer wanted a Hannah t-shirt, and Seth Tanner wanted an autographed photo. Their old friend Tia had even called them from Boston to stay with her and her Cousin London. After a brief newspaper interview for the newspaper, Phil and Keely had rushed themselves off to enjoy Boston unsupervised before the concert.

"Hi, Lloyd…" Mandy appeared on the Diffy front porch. "I just wanted to check and make sure that the kids made it off with Barb alright."

"Oh yeah…" Lloyd looked her over. "Sure, Barb went the kids off on their trip."

"Lloyd, who's at the door?" Barb wandered into the foyer and noticed Keely's mother. "Oh, Mandy, what are you doing here? Would you like to come in?"

"What am I doing here?" Mandy looked from her to Lloyd then back to Barb. "Barb, you're supposed to be on a plane with our kids to a Hannah Montana concert in Boston."

"What? Oh, uh, yeah, uh…" Barb and Lloyd realized they had screwed up in parenting again. She looked to Lloyd then made up an answer. "Uh, no, you misunderstood. I saw them off, but my sister is meeting them there. Yeah, they'll be staying with my sister there." She just did not inform Mandy that her sister lived in 22nd Century Boston.

"Oh, thank goodness," Mandy gasped a sigh of relief. "I knew you two could not be as irresponsible as to send two lovelorn teenagers by themselves unsupervised to Boston." She got a peek behind the Diffys of Curtis, their pet caveman. Clad in fur and moose hide boots, he wandered through the house mumbling to himself in his guttural almost linguistic language picking up broken English and praising and worshipping the devices of the 20th Century.

"That's funny," Mandy looked up to Lloyd and Barb. "I used to have a lawn ornament that looked like him."

"Mrs. Teslow…" Pim came up from behind her parents. "Could you say for me, "Don't have a cow, Bart?"

"I don't get it." Mandy did not get the cartoon reference. "Who's Bart?"


	3. Chapter 3

The Tipton Hotel was busy with kids who had won the contest. Six chosen teenagers had received the free tickets for two, but only one set had obtained the backstage pass for a day with Hanna. Phil and Keely were excited and exuberantly pumped for the contest. They had left Pickford surrounded by their friends and a folly of flashing lights, and in Boston, they landed once more again to a slight and yet inexplicable barrage of lights. Phil wondered about it at first, but then he and Keely were photographed in a store at the airport. Maybe they were in the line of fire of tourists. Before they reached the Tipton, they were a bit early for their suite, so they went to get a brief dinner in a restaurant, and there again were photographed together. It was at that moment that Phil started suspecting that this was an incident not connected to winning concert tickets. Maybe someone was following them around, maybe someone who wanted a chronicle of his life with Keely. When he voiced his suspicion, Keely said he was imagining things.

"Phil," Keely emerged from their Boston cab first and turned back to him. "You're imagining things."

"Keely," Phil noticed Esteban Ramirez the bellboy collecting his one bag and Keely's twelve from the taxi. "I can't get the feeling that we're being followed. I bet my dad followed us in a skyak and is monitoring our activity for my mom. He promised we could come alone and now he's gone back on his word."

"Why don't you call him and ask him." Keely stood on the steps before the Tipton and pulled her hair out of her face. Boston was much windier than their native Pickford and her blonde hair-do would not survive these oceanic breezes. Pulling out a clip to hold her hair back, she noticed Phil pulling the Wizard out by habit.

"Not here…" She looked to Esteban watching them. "Wait till we get to the room." She was now in the habit of helping him hide his future technology. He had been too used to pulling them out for practically everything. Phil took her hand delicately as they lightly treaded into the Tipton Hotel and entered into a world they had never been in before. The Tipton was much more grand that the Pickford town hall. Norman the doorman pushed the door open to a palace with a sunken floor and a high ceiling supported by columns. The color tones were in gold, soft tan and royal emerald green coloring the walls. The furniture was grand, the décor extravagant. Ambassadors and elected officials communed in the lobby along with two blonde twins rolling through on skateboards an irate African-American man chasing after them. The lobby was almost the Americanized version of an English castle. Keely felt as if she was losing her breath, but Phil felt as if he was back in the Renaissance. He wondered if maybe they should have brought a parent with them. They passed Irene the concierge and noticed Irwin talking to Maddie the candy girl. Another annoying camera flash stole a photo of them as they looked for the source.

"Don't say it." Keely stopped Phil from commenting about it. She looked upon the placard, which announced singer Carie Martin in the hotel lounge, and caught an image of someone who resembled her old friend Tia Chen from Pickford, but she had darker and longer hair than Tia ever did and was dressed in an expensive DiGiornia original gown with diamond necklaces and bobbing diamond earrings. Even Tia did not have that kind of money. It had to be London Tipton, the cousin she had often mentioned. The teenage hotel heiress silently trapped in her own mind was heading toward the elevators with seven bellboys carrying twenty shopping bags behind her. There was a chirping noise from her purse and London moved her pet Pomeranian to her other arm to answer her cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello," Pim Diffy leaned back in her Pickford home and spoke over her headset. "Let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to helping people in adversity. For a first donation of $250, you can help the unfortunate get health benefits, homes, Internet access, surface-to-air missiles, their own island country…."

"I'll give you a thousand dollars to never call me again."

"I love you!!!!" Pim cheered out loud. "Please, stay on the line for a recording to where you can send your tax-exempt donation…"

Phil stopped and stood at the admissions desk before manager Marion Moseby returning to his post. He tilted back his head with a big grin, his pack slung over his shoulder and Keely proudly on his other arm. Moseby was not impressed.

"Yes?"

"Reservation for Diffy and Teslow?"

"Let's see here…" Moseby started pushing buttons on the hotel computer. "Reservation, yes… Luggage…" He noticed Esteban rolling it up. "Check… Parental guardians…" He looked around. "Are they invisible?"

"They're dropping us off." Phil looked to Moseby a bit more creative and logical in his excuses. "They'll check in later tonight."

"Oh good, I'll be expecting him."

"Well, you'll be seeing him." Phil checked on his Wizard in his pack. All he had to do was use it to change himself into his father and check them both into the hotel. Moseby handed over the scan keys to the teenager's suite, eager to be practically rid of them as if two certain twin boys had left him an eternal distaste for anyone younger than twenty. With a gesture, he directed Esteban to accompany them. Phil jostled his pack a bit and backed up against the potted plant behind him to allow the Venturi family to check in behind them. When he backed up, the pot pushed something up out of his pack and a flickering future device was leaned backward and out, sliding over the soft fern and dropping it lightly into the sofa behind it.

"Excuse me…" Derek Venturi had noticed Keely and had sidled up to her grinning at her. "Aren't you Alyson Michalka?"

"No…" Keely beamed, feeling her ego about her looks shooting through the sky. "But thank you very much!"

"Derek…" Casey pulled her stepbrother and his active hormones back. "You've been seeing celebrities since we left Chicago. First it was Reese Witherspoon, then Vanessa Anne Hudgins, and now Alyson Michalka?"

"Oh yeah," Derek looked her over. "Well, you thought you saw Zack Efron at the bookstore." He folded his hands and waited as his mother checked them into the hotel. Noticing the candy counter, he pulled a dollar from his pocket to get himself some licorice. Maddie Fitzpatrick alighted on his good looks and beamed ear to ear.

"You know," She had heard Derek talking to his sister. "Some people say I look like Ashley Tisdale." She shined and grinned ear-to-ear. "You know, from _High School Musical_?" Derek leaned back trying to see it himself.

"I don't see it."

"What is wrong with you, people?!!!"

Derek stepped back and noticed his mother snapping her fingers at him to keep up. His eyes noticed the strange device on the sofa and his mind wondered what it was. He started to reach for it to check it out.

"Derek!" His mother wanted him. "Get the bags."

"Yeah, right…."

Through the revolving doors of the Tipton, Lizzie McGuire and her best friend, David Gordon, arrived accompanied by her father. She had been having a bad time since winning her front row tickets. First, her other best friend, Miranda Rodriguez, had acquired the measles and could not come with her. At the airport, she was mistaken for Hillary Duff and had to escape a gang of kids. Her father then got lost in their rental car and drove out to Beacon Street where a postman named Cliff Clavin directed them to the Tipton. At the stoplight en route, a group of kids in an open convertible mistook her again for Hillary Duff and her father had to drive to Cambridge to escape them. Local Lawyer John Cage gave them directions back to the Tipton with Lizzie hiding in the back seat out of public eye. Finally reaching the Tipton, Lizzie tried to disguise herself with sunglasses and Gordo's baseball cap hiding her blonde hair, but it didn't work.

"Oh my god!!!" Derek stopped from heading to his suite with his mother and sister. "It's Hillary Duff!!! I love you!!!"

"See ya!" Lizzie continued spinning through the revolving doors to make her escape. Why couldn't she get mistaken for someone who wasn't so famous? Gordo meanwhile hastened a few steps forward and stopped at the sofa before the admission desk. He stopped and noticed the object sitting on the seat before him and picked it up, his eyes scrutinizing every unlabeled violet button, the small screen reflecting a stream of intermittent data and the slightly worn brand name that read just barely "The Wizard." Wondering if it was some sort of computer game he had never seen before, he twisted a dial as certain words popped up on the screen: holo-phone, transmorph, video contacts, data storage….

"Oh, hey…" He noticed Zack Martin coming up alongside him. "Did you lose this?"

"Okay…." Zack was always willing to accept free junk.

"Keely," On the Eighteenth floor, Phil started digging through his pack upon reaching his suite with Keely. "I can't find my Wizard!"

"Phil…" Keely fretted as well. "Don't do this to me. We've been using it to take pictures and everything. We just could not have lost it in Boston. Where did you last have it?"

"Let's see…" Phil thought back. "We had it at the airport in customs. We used it to download the map of Boston. We had it at the restaurant and I was looking over everyone's wish list in the cab."

"You left it in the cab?!"

"No," Phil searched his memories. "I acknowledged having it when we checked in because I was going to turn myself into my dad to go down and check us in. I must have been lost down there!"

"Well," Keely started pushing him to the door. "Go get it before someone else does!!!"

"No, no, no, no…." He raced back to the elevators hoping to catch up with Esteban returning to the lobby. One elevator was heading down, that was the one he tried calling back. In the elevator going up, Zack was twisting and pressing buttons trying to get the missing Wizard to work. It made a tiny screaming noise when he shook it, but surely that was not the only thing it did. Wondering if the command functions were locked out, he planned on looking up the brand name on it on the Internet then started looking for a place on it to hook it up to his computer games. Entering his suite, he grabbed a banana from the dinner table and hastened for the bedroom he had to share with his twin brother. Tossing a banana peel over his head, he continued pressing buttons until one of the words in the screen lit up. It read "Replication." He looked the violet and silver device over thinking that he had finally opened a video game file. Once more trying to get a video game to come on, he hit a button and heard a hum before faint images came on in the screen. Lights on the object flickered and he felt a flash from it and then noticed a shadow looming over him. He cocked his head up to see a large sumo wrestler looking and growling down upon him. Where did he come from?!!

"Sumo, now!!!"

Zack shrieked under his breath and hit the same button again. This time, a man appeared in the sumo wrestler's place. He was bald, wore a sweater vest and khaki pants and looked back upon Zack with a harmless but helpful glance.

"Welcome to fourth-dimensional quantum physics." The man said. "My name is Neil Hackett, and I will be your guide to the wonderful world of mathematics."

"You're a teacher???!" Zack became repulsed. "Ugh!!! Remind me to not hit your button again!!!" He clicked the Wizard to Hackett. In a slight burst of light, a short young girl with blonde hair replaced Hackett.

"Yeah? What do you want?" The image of Pim Diffy shot a disgusted look at him.

"Ugh…" Zack clicked the same button again and this time got a taller much more rapturous beauty with longer blonde hair and big blue eyes. She looked round briefly, and then noticed Zack.

"Hi, I'm Keely!" She waved to him. "Want to be my friend?"

"Hello, baby!!" Zack's heart went out and his eyes lit up. His jaw dropped in surprised awe and he lightly tossed his new toy aside, grabbed Keely and swooped her into his arms to begin kissing her.


	4. Chapter 4

In Detroit, Michigan, contractor Jim Belushi sacked out before the TV. He had a platter of sandwiches to his left, a cooler of beers to his right. His wife had taken the kids out, his sister-in-law was on a date with her husband and his brother-in-law was away at a sci-fi convention. Life was suddenly right according to Jim, and he was ready to sit down and watch the boxing game on TV. His only obstacle to perfect happiness was the ringing phone in his house. 

"I can't believe it." He groaned annoyingly and picked up his hand held. "What?"

"Hello," Pim Diffy was calling for money. "Let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to…" Belushi hung up on her.

"Oh, I don't think so." She recalled the number. Belushi picked up again.

"Hello, let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to…" Belushi cut her off again.

"You can't get rid of me that easy." Pim redialed Belushi again.

"Hello, let me introduce you to PIM, the…" She was cut off again!

"Pim, honey…." Barb entered her daughter's work area. "Maybe you ought to stop where you are. I mean, there is a reason telemarketing was made against the law in 2008."

"I am not going to be out-witted by some sort of dim-witted troglodyte with half a brain too stupid to leave the TV." Pim called Jim Belushi again. "Hello, let me introduce you to PIM, the…." She growled getting cut off again.

"Lloyd," Barb turned to her husband. "Pim's turning into the telemarketer from hell. We've got to get her psychiatric help."

"When I get back…." Lloyd was pulling on his jacket and reaching for his flying goggles. "Phil lost the Wizard in Boston. I'm heading there in the skyak to help him find it."

"Look, buddy!!!" Pim yelled through her handless phone. "I'm going to keep calling until you send me some money. Ten dollars? I'll take it!!!" She turned nice and friendly again. "Stay on the line for a recording to where you can send your tax-exempt donation… And you better send it or else I start calling again!!!"

"Forget a psychiatrist…" Lloyd looked at Pim. "She needs an exorcist!!!"

In Boston's Tipton Hotel, Carey Martin was making breakfast for her sons. The easier thing to do might have been to just call room service, but she preferred the more warm and maternal approach than the cold and impersonal calling for it over the phone. Given her culinary drawbacks, Cody would have preferred room service. Up since eight o'clock, he looked at his watch and wondered about his less than stellar brother having retreated into locked seclusion in their bedroom. There was a noise, a rustling sound and the echoes of several people in that bedroom as Carey raised a suspicious eyebrow and Cody confusingly wondered what crime his brother was practicing now. The door unlocked and the future felon came strolling out of the bedroom.

"Mom," Zack had come out of his bedroom. "I need something to eat."

"Sure, honey," Carey Martin paused and looked at her son closely. "Zack, why do you have lipstick on your face?"

"Mom, a guy doesn't kiss and tell."

"I know what he's doing." Cody Martin stood up from the breakfast table and faced his brother. "Zack, smearing lipstick on you face to get Maddie jealous enough to date you won't work. She's much smarter than that!"

"I don't need Maddie anymore." Zack scoffed at old childhood infatuations. "I've got a new girlfriend who loves me and cooks for me and gives me massages…. And hides in the bathroom over night…" He began mumbling.

"What was that?" Carey heard something she didn't like.

"Nothing! Nothing…."

"Zack…" Cody didn't trust his brother anymore than their mother did. The future America's Most Wanted candidate was up to no good. Zack just winced secretly and ducked back into his bedroom with his brother on his heels.

"Since when are you over your love for Maddie…" Cody asked him, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Or Ashley Tisdale for that matter. "

"Maddie means nothing to me." Zack picked up the Wizard from his bedside and held it close. "I've got a girlfriend who really loves me."

"Who?"

"Zackie…." Keely Teslow peeked from the bathroom. "Can we come out yet?"

Cody dropped his jaw in shock as Zack rushed over, pushed Keely in and pulled the door shut on her. He turned back to Cody trying to hide his guilty grin.

"Who was that?!"

"No one!"

"Zackie…" Maddie stuck her head out from the bathroom. "Ready for your massage, yet?"

Zack pushed her back too and closed the door. Turning to his brother, he started thinking of an excuse to give. Cody was choking in shock. What were Maddie and that other girl doing in there and how long had they been in there? How did he even get them to want to hide in there?! Feeling as if his heart was pounding in shock and embarrassed disgust, he looked to Zack and recognized his guilty look.

"You got Maddie in there too?!!!" He noticed the Wizard that Cody was clutching to his chest. "What's that thing?"

"Nothing!"

"Do you have anyone else in there?"

"No!!!"

"Zack, " London now peeked through the crack in the door. "We're getting lonely in here!" Zack pushed her back inside too and Cody began screaming for their mother. When she didn't come fast enough, he raced after her realizing his brother had gone too far. Grumbling and cursing, Zack opened the bathroom and pulled duplicate Maddie out first, pushing her down to the floor to hide under his bed. He swung Keely over to his brother's bed, pushing her head down until she was hiding under Cody's bed.

"Cody, your brother is not hiding girls in your bathroom!" They were about to come back in. With that warning, Zack opened his closet and pushed London into it, tossing a shirt over her head as well, rolling the doors closed before her and returning to a spot back in the center of the room just as his mother and brother returned.

"He's got three girls hiding in the bathroom!" Cody was dragging his mother in by the arm. "Maddie, London and someone I've never seen before!!! Kind of looks like Alison Michalka!"

"Okay," Carey looked into her boy's bathroom and saw no one. "Zack, what are you doing to your brother."

"Nothing!!!" Zack grinned clandestinely. "I honestly have no idea what he's talking about."

"Hi, Mrs. Martin…" Garbed in her hotel uniform, Maddie Fitzpatrick walked into the boy's from the outside of the suite. "Your door was open and I thought I'd bring your mail to you."

"Thanks, honey…" Carey took her mail. "Dear, were you just hiding in the boy's bathroom?"

"Course not!!" She looked at Zack; he was looking very guilty and nervous. His mother looked at him and his brother looked at him suspiciously with his arms folded.

"What's everyone looking at me for?!"

Phil did not want to miss his day with Hannah Montana fretting about his Wizard. The day was certainly enough to allay his fears and nerves, but he did have to search the Tipton as close as possible as soon as his father arrived with his Wizard. Until then, things were going to be as close to a routine as possible even spending the day with Hannah until his father arrived. He got to jam with the drums in Hannah's band, and Keely got to sing with Hannah a bit as well, getting pointers in voice control and pitch. A few more photos were snapped with him and Hannah, but it mostly because of Hannah and the paparazzi as they had lunch together and returned to the concert hall to watch her block her concert moves. With VIP passes around their necks, Phil and Keely were falling into Hannah's world and loving it. He tried seeing a little bit of Miley Stewart within the stage persona, but she was obviously adept at keeping her personalities separate. He wondered if her best friend Lola Luvnagle knew her secret identity.

"It sure was fun meeting you, Phil…" Hannah hugged Phil then Keely. "If you two are ever out in Malibu, look me up. I'll take you to a real honest to goodness Hollywood party."

"That would be so cool!!!" Keely alighted to the invitation.

"Wow!" Phil looked to Keely and back to Hannah. "I'm so there. I'd love to meet you in California, Miley – Hannah!!!"

"What was that?" Hannah was taken aback and lowered her sunglasses to get a better look at him. Had Phil called her by her real name? How did he know who she really was?

"Nothing!!! I swear!!!" Phil freaked himself. After fearing Keely would trip herself up, he had done it himself! "I said, Miley, but you're Hannah. You're definitely not Miley. Miley's a girl who goes to my school. You two don't even look alike! She doesn't even have blonde hair!" Phil discovered himself rambling embarrassingly. "We got to go!!"

Hannah had seemed to accept that loose lip. She looked next to Raven Baxter now screeching excitedly to say hello to her again and to introduce her friends Chelsea and Eddie. Accompanying them, Victor Baxter was promising the teen pop star a free lifetime pass to eat at his Chill Grill Restaurant if she would endorse it. Eddie meanwhile had noticed Keely and her resemblance to Michelle Teslow back home at Bayside High School. Maybe they were related or something. She was pushing Phil out of Hannah's dressing room then toward a table laid out by craft services. It was a snack table for Hannah and her guests. Among them was Lily Truscott, disguised in a pink wig as Lola Luvnagle to keep her identity secret as well from revealing Hannah's secret identity. She took a piece of sushi to nibble on as Phil and Keely came up alongside her.

"Phil…" Keely confronted him. "What was that all about? We don't go to school with anyone named that."

"That's her real name, Keely." Phil was so embarrassed. "Miley Stewart."

Lily suddenly choked and watched her sushi shoot from her mouth and across the table. She held her mouth a minute looking at Phil and Keely and wondered how they knew her best friend's secret identity. Gasping for air, she gazed at them sharply and rushed to Hannah. Behind her, Phil and Keely looked each other and decided to make a run for it. As Hannah and Raven talked wardrobe and design, Lily cupped her hand over Hannah's ear and whispered the facts to her. Someone knew who she really was!!!

"Say what?!!!!" Hannah freaked. Apologizing to Raven and her father and friends, she bolted for the table and looked round the hall through the faces and activity for the two contest winners to confront them. Who were they? How did they know?!

"Where'd they go?!! Where'd they go?!!!"

"Wait a second…" Lily answered her vibrating cell phone. "Hello?"

"Hello," Pim Diffy was calling her through her illegal phone board. "Let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to helping people in adversity. For a first donation of $300, you can help the unfortunate get health benefits, homes, Internet access, surface-to-air missiles, their own island country…."


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, that's it…." Ricky Ullman looked across the soundstage that had been his home for five years on a top-rated Disney comedy. The family home for the set was being carted off and the set for the school was being demolished. The soundstage was looking bigger without the sets. Harboring a buried hostility at Disney Studios for canceling the show at its height in the ratings, he had to rush to save the props he wanted. One had posed as a device called a Wizard, another had been his futuristic sky sled. Secreting another prop from the show into his backpack, he sighed again and glanced up to the actress that had placed his sister. Equally depressed, Ami Buckner hugged her TV brother and whispered him a blessing.

"I'll miss not getting to fight with you, Raviv." She called him by his real name.

"Yeah," He placed his arm around her before departing to meet up with his mother. "Well, five years was a good run and if the residuals from the reruns are good enough, we might get a TV reunion, but I'm not really counting on it."

"What have you got next?"

"A movie, an episode of CSI with Lise and then some commercials with JP…" Ricky escorted his TV sister. "You?"

"Cartoon work mostly…" Ami gasped looking around Disney studios. Rumor was it their old soundstage was going to be used for a new series being rushed into production around Kyle Massey. Rumors around the new show were not favorable, but the company still had money invested in the young man.

"Hear from Aly much?" Ami asked out loud.

"She promised…" Ricky answered. "But the concerts keep her busy…." His cell phone began ringing.

"Maybe that's her." Ami wondered.

"Hello…"

"Hello," Pim Diffy was calling again through her illegal phone board. "Let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to helping people in adversity. For a first donation of $400, you can help the unfortunate get health benefits, homes, furniture, automobiles, Internet access, surface-to-air missiles, anti-missile tanks…."

"Who is it?" Ami asked.

"I don't know." Ricky made a perplexed look. "She kind of sounds like your character from the show."

"I can't figure it out, Arwin…." Back at the Boston hotel, Zack discussed his surreal experience with his brother to Arwin Hawkhauser, the Tipton's maintenance man, a figure like the mentor he wanted. "He had Maddie in there… and London… and some other girl I'd never seen before."

"Are you sure?" Arwin was replacing one of the over-used buttons to one of the elevators near the candy counter. "It sounds unlikely. I mean Maddie could do so much better." He started screwing the new button in place. "Why don't you tell me about the gadget he had with him? Maybe that had something to do with it."

"I don't know…" Cody leaned against the balustrade near the elevators over the sunken lobby floor. "Maybe if it could hypnotize people or something… I think figuring out who the other girl was could answer a lot of questions."

"What'd she look like?" Arwin tested the elevator.

"Well," Cody thought back. "Blonde, blue eyes, tall, very pretty…." He noticed Phil and Keely returning to the hotel from the concert. "Just like her!!!" He jumped to his feet and stopped before Phil and Keely. "Who are you? What were you doing in my bathroom this morning?"

"I beg your pardon." Keely wondered how to answer that.

"Hey, this is my girlfriend, Keely Teslow…." Phil stood his ground to defend her. He looked to Keely then back to Cody. "What's this about?"

"Don't mind him…" Arwin grinned and tugged Cody back. "His brother is a piece of work." He chuckled a bit clearing his throat.

"I saw your girlfriend hiding in my bathroom this morning!" Cody confronted Phil.

"That's impossible. We've been together all day…" Phil then recalled his Wizard had an image of Keely in it. "Wait a second, I lost a small handheld before the concert the other morning. Have you seen it?"

"You lost something?" Cody looked to Arwin and back to Phil. "What is it?"

"Well, it's sort of a…" Phil tried to describe the Wizard in recent terms.

"Personal electronic organizer." Keely realized Phil's thread of thought and had come to the rescue with a definition. "It's small and shaped kind of like a remote or something. It has all our personal info on it."

"I never saw anything like that in lost and found." Arwin confessed.

"I have." Cody answered embarrassed again to have Zack as a brother. "My idiot brother has it. You were trying to get it back, right?" He thought of a rational answer.

"Yup! That's right!!!" Keely went along with his explanation.

"Look…" Phil was desperate to retrieve his Wizard before Zack realized what it really was. "I'll give you…" He dug into his pockets for money. "Ten dollars to get it back."

"Please…" Cody couldn't take his money. "This is on me. I'll bring it to your room."

Cody turned from Phil and Keely; they had a brief gasp of relief, but they wouldn't feel really safe until they had the Wizard back. Arwin had the elevator back and ready and Cody became a young man with a mission, the antithesis of his brother's shenanigans. Upon the twenty-fifth floor, he approached his suite at first scowling and upset then realized his error. It was better to go in intellectually than with force. He reached the door and carefully and slowly turned the doorknob just wide enough to peek inside. He poked his head in and gasped at the spectacle.

"Oh…. ladies…." Zack was stretched out across a massage table. "That feels so good…." Replicants of London and Maddie were rubbing and massaging him while his Keely replicant cooked and made him pudding to spoon-feed him. Cody dropped his jaw at the display of sloth and materialism before noticing the Wizard at the dinner table. His head pointed at the back of the apartment, Zack could not see his brother entering the suite behind him. Sneaking in a few feet, Cody just gestured to London then to the Wizard and she daintily walked over, took it in her fingertips and handed it over to him. Cody whispered a brief inaudible thank-you then backed out of the apartment slowly, carefully turning the doorknob to silently latch it again.

"Do you think your brother would like a massage?" London asked Zack.

"Sure…" Zack grinned sleepily. "But let me have it first so I know it will feel okay."

Silently cheering himself, Cody rushed back to the elevator and hit the button for the eighteenth floor. He wondered if Zack would notice the device missing and what he'd do when he realized it was gone. Briefly looking the object over, he jumped back when the elevator open and rushed with honest exuberance to Phil and Keely's suite. Their door was opened as Cody slid to a stop. Phil gasped a final breath of relief to have his Wizard back!

"Cody," Phil was trying to say more than a mere thank you. "If there's anything I can do in return…"

"Well…" Cody postured and stood back. "You could tell me what it is."

"It's a personal electronic organizer." Phil claimed as a chirp came from the Wizard. A hologram popped up from it of his father on the way to Boston on the skyak. Cody dropped his jaw over the tiny glowing and translucent image.

"Phil…" Lloyd's image spoke. "I got waylaid by a tornado over Ohio, but I'm on the way now…"

"And a video game!!!" Keely added.

"What? Oh…" Lloyd seemed to become conscious of Cody looking at him. "Martians everywhere… Click on to play if you have the points to fight them." He improvised just before Phil switched off the message.

"I don't have the points yet." He suppressed a nervous grin.

"You know…" Cody started wondering. "I don't think I'm mature enough to want to know what it does."

"Sometimes I think the same thing." Keely confessed out loud. Phil and Cody made a hearty handshake to signify their friendship and Cody drifted away to find something to do. He felt good for doing a good deed, but he also felt embarrassed for having the brother he had. In the privacy of Suite 185, Phil immediately turned on his Wizard and rebooting its files to check the memory. To do so, he had to turn off his security codes.

"What the?!"

"What is it?" Keely realized Phil was upset.

"Whoever got it been making replicants!" Phil groused making a face of distaste. "Well, I can quickly fix that. After the trouble with your clone, I installed a sub-routine that can dissolve any unauthorized commands over the last twenty-four hours." He punched in his personal code and hit EXECUTE. "That will fix their little red wagon."

"Zack," On the Twenty-Fifth floor, Carey Martin marched into her son's room. "I need to talk to you." She had returned to the suite, walking past the massage table in the living room and looked into her son in his room on his bed holding a pillow close to him, kissing it and grinning ear-to-ear. She admittedly did the same thing in her George Clooney fantasies, but watching her son do it and mentioning Maddie's name was another matter. She had changed his diapers!

"Zack!"

"What? Mom, I…" Zack looked up and started looking around. "Where'd she go?!" He tossed the pillow aside and started searching his room, bathroom and under his bed. "Keely, come back!!! Maddie, where are you hiding? London? Reese? Jessica?!!!" He looked at his mother. "You sent them away!!!"

"I miss the days you just had monsters under the bed…."

"Hello," Back in Pickford, Pim spoke again with her sugary sweet and innocent voice. "Let me introduce you to PIM, the People in Mortality fund indebted to helping people in adversity. For a first donation of $500, you can help the unfortunate get food, medical benefits, health benefits, homes, automobiles, Internet access, air-to-ground missiles – all the things good and decent people need to…."

"Pimmy?"

"What?" Pim recoiled in shock. She had heard that voice before. She hated that voice. She hated the person behind that voice. She had moved from Pickford with her grandmother to live in Orlando, Florida. Pim's eyes rounded in nervous shock. Her hand began shaking. No… no, it couldn't be… please, for the love of God, no…. not….

"It's me!! It's me, Debbie Berwick!!!" The voice echoed back over the phone. "I missed you so much!!! I've just been thinking and wondering why my good friend Pimmy Diffy never calls me! Did you lose my phone number? Did you know your phone number changed? Can I get your new number? I'll send you my phone number and address and then we can catch up all over again!!!!" Debbie clutched her chest happily, her joy producing tears from her eyes. "It is so good to hear from you again!"

"No!!!!" Pim screamed and grabbed the baseball bat propped up in the corner of the room. She had been freed from that hysterically happy and pretentiously generous Good Samaritan for over a year and was not going back. She realized her phone board had double-crossed her. It had hooked her up again with the one person she did not want to be reconnected with at all. Screaming hysterically, she swung the bat and hit her phone board over and over, trying to kill the evil in it. She cursed and screamed unable to stop herself. She just had to kill it!!

"It's evil!!!" She pounded and crushed the device. "It's evil, I tell you!" She started beating her phone board into tiny pieces. "Evil! I used it to open the gates of the underworld and it must be destroyed!!! Destroyed at all costs!!!" She continued smashing her phone board as detritus from it in the form of loosened buttons, pieces of plastic and microchips flew around it.


	6. Chapter 6

"Come back to me, Keely!!!" Zack pounded the cab Phil and Keely were in on their way to return home. "Come back to me!!!"

"Get away from me!!!" Keely screamed back at him as Phil secretly checked on his Wizard. The cab started pulling away as Zack started racing alongside it, but then he ran into a light pole and fell back on to the sidewalk. A bump to his head and a broken heart, he whimpered and ached for a minute and lifted himself back up on to his feet, his breath knocked merely from his body. Whining from his broken heart, he ambled aimlessly dejected into the lobby as Norman opened the door for him. Girls fell all over Cody for being sensitive and wimpy;was that what it was going to take? His heartbreak flashed back upon his life and lost loves; how many had their been? Several of them called him immature and insensitive. One of them ignored him to woo his brother along with her twin sister while another named Agnes was too unbalanced for even his tastes. Depressed and feeling unloved, Zack refused to allow his future become lonely and unloved. He lifted his head to Maddie and London at the candy counter.

"You two don't want to give me a massage, do you?" He asked defeatedly.

London looked to Maddie and Maddie made a face repulsed by the mere suggestion. Shaking their heads, they just wandered away in unison into separate directions. Left alone in his depressed misery, Zack dropped to the floor and started crying.

"What's wrong with me?!" He lamented his frustrated single life.

"You're living in my hotel." Moseby walked past him. "Get off the floor, Zack!" He dropped off a paper of messages by Irene the concierge and turned back toward the front desk. Out the corner of his eye, Hannah Montana and Lola Luvnagle rushed through the doors past Norman and into the lobby. Hannah looked around for a second and noticed Moseby then charged after him and clutched his suit by the lapels.

"Those contest winners!!!" She grabbed and pulled on Moseby's suit. "Where are they? Which room are they in?"

"As my daughter's trying to say…." Mustached Robby Ray Stewart entered accompanied by his son, Jackson, and pulled Hannah back. "She'd like to meet those two kids from Pickford again to talk to them."

"They just checked out a few minutes ago this morning…" Moseby was straightening his suit. "They've headed home." With that news, Hannah rolled her eyes back into her head and fainted. Her secret identity was out. It was only a matter of time before the tabloids had her secret as well. Her brother caught her fainting back into his arms.

"Hey, sis, look over there!" Jackson Stewart looked toward the elevators. "It's Hillary Duff!!!"

"For the last time…" Lizzie McGuire stood atop the steps near Maddie Fitzpatrick returning to the candy counter. "I am not, repeat, not Hillary Duff."

"Wear a padded bra and maybe they'd confuse you with Lindsay Lohan." Gordo stood by her with his hands resting in his pockets. Lizzie shot a look at him that could practically shatter glass.

"You know," Maddie wandered by Gordo and Lizzie and spoke up. "Some people say I look exactly like Ashley Tisdale from _High School Musical_."

"I don't see it." Gordo answered. Maddie shot a look at him.

"I do…" Jackson dropped his sister with a crash to the floor and confronted Maddie at the counter. "I'm in town for a few more hours. How about a date, Mrs. Tisdale…. Oh, I mean, Mrs. Fitzpatrick…." Maddie started grinning at him.

"Son," Robby Ray dropped to revive his daughter dropped to the floor. "There's a Billy Ray Cyrus look-alike over here that will ground you forever if you ever drop your sister like that again."

"Hannah?" Raven Baxter emerged from the elevators behind Gordo and Lizzie and recognized the teen pop star. Accompanied by her father and friends, Chelsea and Eddie, she reached down to Hannah and lifted her up to her feet. "Hannah, girl…" Raven supported and hugged her. "What's wrong?"

"It's horrible…." Hannah wandered defeatedly over the Tipton sofa. "My life is over, Raven. Two fans learned my most guarded secret!!!"

"What secret?" Raven felt that tingling in her brain again and looked away as a premonition overwhelmed her vision. She was looking into the future, possibly as much as ten to fifteen years into the future. Hannah was probably twenty or twenty-five years old in the images, a beautiful young woman who stole hearts from young male fans and who wore clothes from designers. It was later in her career and she was a bigger star than ever.

"So, Hannah…" Future TV Reporter Keely Diffy was interviewing her. "What made you want to reveal your identity after over twenty years?"

"Well," Adult Hannah still had a trace of her old Nashville accent. "It was important for me to have a decent childhood, but after all the years, I realized I've outgrown a need for it." The vision ended and Raven was looking at young and petite Hannah again, crying and distressed over her dilemma. Whatever the secret as to her identity, it would not be revealed for years!

"Girl," Raven shined and tapped Hannah's leg in a positive light. "You got nothing to worry about. I don't know who learned your secret, but I get the feeling they are extremely responsible with it."

"How can you be sure, Ray?"

"Well," Raven looked around to Hannah's family and her own friends. "I'll share with you my secret." She leaned over, cupped her hand over Hannah's ear and whispered two words into it. The teen pop star made a face and looked to Raven with new faith.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"It's true." Chelsea was hovering over the back of the Tipton sofa looking at them.

"We've kept it for years!" Eddie confessed.

"This ought to be SOME secret!!!" Jackson Stewart stood next to his father with his arms crossed.

"It's a really good secret!" Victor Baxter confirmed it.

"Hey…" Derek Venturi appeared from nowhere and tugged Eddie's shirt for attention. "Ten bucks if you tell me what it is."

A few hours later, Phil and Keely were sitting on a plane somewhere over Western New York ready to return home. Boston had been a great adventure. They had stayed in a grand hotel, they got to meet rock stars and they got to meet a lot of new friends. Phil had his Wizard out on the tray before him analyzing his sub-file routines. Afraid he was getting too careless with his device, he had a new alarm installed should it ever be out of his contact for more than five feet. He then thought that was too far and changed the distance to just three feet.

By his side, Keely laid back in her seat next to the window listening to Alyson Michalka on her headset and dreaming she was Alyson herself, on stage singing next to the sister she never had, or maybe that stupid clone of herself, wherever she was now. After that song, it was Jesse McCarthy singing to her and making her weak in the knees, but then the Boys in Motion came on and she was turning the volume down to order a drink from the flight attendant.

"Phil," She leaned over to her future partner for life and shined toward him. "This weekend was exactly like I pictured it. Fun, intrigue, adventures…." She noticed the Wizard before him being fine-tuned. "Twenty-Second Century devices causing trouble… I'm getting the feeling what it will be like being married to you."

"I haven't purposed yet and you've got our life together all planned out." Phil looked to her with an amused smirk.

"The only things we need to lose are the crazy in-laws." Keely answered back.

Practically announced, Lloyd Diffy set his skyak at the same cruising speed of the DC-747 passenger jet he was cruising with and started peeking along the starboard side windows looking for his son. The jet stream was strong, the jet turbines powerful, but the skyak's anaharmonic field generator protected him from being buffeted or knocked off by the winds around him. No one had seen him yet. Most of the passengers were either engrossed in books or asleep. A few noticed Lloyd and ignored him thinking he was a figment of their imagination. Other travelers just didn't bother to get involved. One passenger gazed into Lloyd's face and then over to his wife.

"There's a man out there!"

"Is he wearing tights and a cape?" The wife continued her crossword.

Another passenger noticed Lloyd and just closed his window against him. The last time he had screamed there was a man on the wing of a plane he had been institutionalized at the Serling Psychiatric Clinic in Willoughby, Ohio. Keely meanwhile received her juice from the flight attendant and peeled back the aluminum top to take a sip. Maybe she had known Phil for too long or had become used to weird things happening around them with increasing intensity, but when Lloyd appeared in the window next to her, she didn't react with much surprise. Her ruby lips parted, her jaw dropped and her eyes rolled into Phil's direction. Her hand tapped his shoulder and Phil lifted his head.

"I think I forgot to call my dad back." Phil looked out the window.

"You think!!"

Phil just flashed his Wizard to his father to show him he had got it back without him. Inaudible to his son through the thick inch-thick airport window glass, Lloyd just voiced a hearty "Good job!" and flashed two quick thumbs up and then quickly grabbed the controls of his skyak before starting to veer off from the plane.

In the cockpit of the jet, Captain James T. Archer looked at the controls of his jet and tapped a gauge. The plane was registering an extra eight hundred pounds from out of nowhere during mid-flight and it hadn't stabilized. It was almost as if something had latched on to his plane during the flight.

"I've got a mild bogey here." Co-pilot Leonard Doohan looked at the electronic radar. "At first, I thought it was a flock of birds, but then I realized it was keeping trajectory with us."

"Recheck telemetry, do we have a visual of the object?" Archer suddenly cocked his head to the starboard side of the plane. Lloyd had appeared a few seconds alongside them then dipped down out of view quickly to avoid freaking the pilots. Doohan looked around just fast enough to get a glimpse of the concerned father. Navigator Ralph Riker stood up and noticed along with them the object that had been keeping up with them now ascending even faster and dipping down toward Earth.

"Well, that's something you don't see everyday…" He commented half-concerned. "A man on a flying ATV…"

Back in Seats 23A and 23B, Phil Diffy put his Wizard together and as routinely as possible slid it back into his backpack. Keely sipped her juice pretending to be an innocent by-stander as a few other passengers started whispering to each other. Did they see that? Was that what they were talking about? She downed the rest of her drink quickly and pulled her headset back on over her ears.

"It will be so good to get back to normal back in Pickford." Phil dropped his pack to his feet. Keely gave him a look with one eyebrow raised.

"Well, almost normal…" He corrected himself.

"Just be grateful no one got a picture…" Keely mumbled and leaned back into her seat. Just as she said that, a camera flash passed over her and Phil.

"Who is taking those so many pictures of us?" She asked out loud.

END

POSTSCRIPT

It was 2165, and Phil and Keely Diffy were still happily married and still very much in love. In the after years of middle-age, Keely had maintained her looks, mostly for her career as a television journalist, and Phil still looked mostly like himself, just older, heavier and sporting a mustache and goatee. He owned thirty-three Twentieth Century-style restaurants in the Eastern portion of what was the former United States, now part of the United Republics of Earth under the United Federation of Planets. Their home over Lake Superior was computerized, maintained by mini-drones and assisted by holographic assistants. Keely checked her face for wrinkles, rubbing cream to eliminate spots from the sun and adjusted the ozone layer settings in the house. Phil shuddered from the cool breeze.

"Phil, honey," Keely draped herself over their marital bed as she prodded his back. "Happy anniversary." He rolled over to look upon her.

"Who are you?" He remarked quite seriously. "You can't be my wife. You're too young and sexy to be her." Keely just started grinning at him. Thirty years of marriage and he did still love her, unfailing in his devotion to never stop loving her. She closed her lips over his and stroked his beard stubble with the fingers of her left hand.

"Ewww…"

The contented couple looked up to their daughters watching them. It was Lisa Diffy's turn to pass herself off as a clone of Alyson Michalka and Tricia Diffy could pass for a brunette version of her sister, AJ. Behind them, Cathy Diffy, the youngest of the three, nudged in through the tinted glass doors of the bedroom. As a blonde, she could resemble Ashley Tisdale.

"What were they doing?"

"You don't want to know…." Lisa spoke as the oldest and held up a large leather bound album. "Mom, dad…. This is for you. Happy thirtieth…"

"Oh my…" Keely put her hand to her chest and pulled the book closer. Phil groaned sitting up and scratched his neck as he saw old photos of himself from his youth. No one made photos anymore, not with holography technology available. Actually having physical photos to hold and appreciate was a forgotten art that very few people admired anymore.

"Here's your father and I at school… one from our first date… here's us backstage at the Hannah Montana concert…." Keely was becoming misty-eyed. "This is so sweet. Oh, my make up…." She rose from her bed to adjust her look again.

"We never saw some of these photos before." Phil spoke up. "Where'd you girls get these?"

"Well," Tricia looked to Lisa and Cathy. "Grandma and grandpa loaned us the money to go back in time and take photos of you during your courtship."

"What?" Keely looked to Phil then her daughters. "You went back to when we were your age to take photos? That explains those constant photos back at Hannah's concert in 2007!"

"Wait a second…" Phil recalled another incident. "The week after that, I was in the boy's locker room getting dressed for basketball and felt a flash. Who was that?"

Tricia and Lisa looked to Cathy.

"Guilty…" Cathy smirked a little boy crazy. "That Grady Spaggett was sort of cute."

"I can't believe Aunt Pimmy was fat back then."

"Hey," Lisa Diffy spoke up. "Owen Tanner mistook me for mom!"

"You girls went back in time…." Clad in just his t-shirt and pajama pants, Phil was rising up off his bed. "Unsupervised?"

"Well," Lisa stood up to her exactly as her mother once did. "You and mom went to Boston unsupervised."

"Nothing happened between your father and me." Keely stood up straight pulling her cashmere robe closed. "He was a perfect gentleman."

"Yeah, right…" Lisa stood her ground. "I was there. I got the pictures!"

"Hand them over!!!" Keely screeched first and dived after her daughters running from her. Phil groaned a bit trying to catch up, grabbing his back and trying to straighten up.

"I gotta start exercising again…."

End


End file.
